God is Good

     Have you ever been so grateful that your heart is overflowing and tears keep welling up in your eyes? So grateful that words can’t truly express the gratitude you feel? I have to say I feel that way, right now. And let me tell you, it’s in times like these I’m glad I don’t wear make-up – could you imagine the mascara running all down my face.

     This bout of extreme gratitude didn’t come without hardship, without the feeling of unworthiness, or fear of disappointment. At times I felt stretched beyond my ability to stretch. And I cried. Tears streamed as I pled with Heavenly Father to help me through this stressful time. To make the pain in my head go away so I could study. That I could put forth the time preparing for my national test so that I could have His help. I believe that if I put forth the time and effort He will bring things to my remembrance in time of need. Here I was in a position where I couldn’t put in the time and effort I thought was needed because of this headache where I couldn’t read for 3 days. And then when I could it was short little spurts.

     You know what, in these moments I was brought to remember the goodness of God. I was reminded that whatever the outcome, pass the test or not, all would be well. That I didn’t need to fear the outcome. You see God, Our Father in Heaven, knows us. He’s on our side. He knows what’s ahead and if we hold on to that then peace and happiness are right there even if it doesn’t turn out the way we’d hope. As soon as I remembered this, peace did come and the stress calmed down.

     I have had so many instances of things working out in my life, that it seems crazy to still freak out in situations like these. Satan wants us to feel this way. He wants us to give up. Thank goodness our Heavenly Father is patient. We always have the opportunity to remember that He is there, it will work out and know that God is good, and THAT'S what I'm grateful for.
     To alleviate the suspense, I did pass the test and now as I look for a job I need to remember this amazing feeling of gratitude and remember that it will work out instead of falling back into the same mode of trying to rely solely on myself. With God, All things are possible.

    The next time you feel so stressed and stretched, remember it will work out for the best and that God is on your side. Yes, God is GOOD.

     Let me go back a little. My best friend and roommate decided she wanted to move to Portland, OR. Portland? Doesn’t it rain A LOT  there? Yes she said. I told her that she was my best friend, my sister (as that’s how I feel towards her) but I did not like the rain and I wished her well. I was an Arizona girl after all and I truly enjoy sunshine and warmth. Yep, I was one of those that would pray that I didn’t mind the rain but let it rain at night, all night if you want, so we can have sunshine during the day. 

      At this point I was searching for a Physical Therapist Assistant program to apply too. I had found one in Northern Washington but didn’t feel that was necessarily where I needed to be. I was looking for a program that had a high success rate. I knew school was hard for me and if I was going to put as much time and effort in to it as I thought I would need too, I wanted instructors that would be invested in me and help me to succeed as well. Anyway, for fun- I don’t know why because I wasn’t going to live in Oregon where it rained (riiiigggghhhht…)- but I decided to see if there were any schools that offered the program near where my best friend wanted to be. As I looked online I saw a program offered at a school close to where she was and out of nowhere, this feeling overcame me, and my first thought was, what? Wait. I wasn’t looking at that to go to a school there.  I DON’T want to go where it rains. Again that same feeling was felt and I was like, really? Really? As I investigated a little further, the program had a 94% success rate. But I wasn’t going to live where it rained and Heavenly Father wouldn’t expect me to live somewhere I’d potentially be miserable, so I looked at other schools. Surely there’s another school where the weather is better. Nope, well yes, but apparently they weren’t for me. Portland was where I was going. So, I did the only thing I could do at that point…I called up my best friend and said something like, Um, how would you still like to be roommates? As expected she was confused. Probably thinking what are you talking about? I want to be in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, I am not going back to AZ, I don’t want to be where it’s that hot. After I explained what had happened, still confused a little though, she said sure.

     We experienced many blessings which I’ll save for another story, but needless to say, we found an apartment and I finished up my pre-requisites for the program. If I had to come here for no other reason the professor for my Anatomy and Physiology class was/is truly one of the greatest teachers I have ever had. She’s funny and a little quirky- so am I so I can say that. But she’s also extremely smart and dedicated to her students. Part of the reason I did so well was because of her.

      Because the school here does terms, my pre-requisites wouldn’t be finished until after applications were due so I had a year to wait in which time I got my first associates. Let’s not forget to talk about the weather. Wow was it amazing. We had a cold winter, even some snow, but at least a sunny day or two each week. Summer came and it was sunny almost the entire time and very warm. Another decent winter and spring was amazing. Here I am thinking to myself what was I so worried about? I can definitely handle, and even like (?) this weather.

     The time came to apply. 135 applications were submitted. 80 were asked to come to group interviews and I was included in that number. Only 24 are accepted in to the program each year. Heavenly Father had led me here and everything was going exactly how it was suppose to. I left the interview thinking I had done everything I could possibly do to get in to the program. I couldn’t think of answering any questions differently. Surely if I didn’t get in then it’s not suppose to be.

     I remember praying during the next week that He please let me make it in the program or definitely not let me in so I could move on. In other words I didn’t want to be on the alternate list. The email came and it said “Thank you for your application to the Physical Therapist Assistant program. You have been selected as an ALTERNATE in the Physical Therapist Assistant program at Mt. Hood Community College for Fall term 2015.Your position on the alternate list is number 1.” Really? I couldn’t have felt so close and yet so far away from entering the program. Exactly in the place I didn’t want to be. But I had a back-up plan. If I didn’t get in I was going to finish my elementary ed degree.

     A little time went by and I hadn’t heard anything. So I decided that after the weekend, I believe it was a Wednesday or Thursday, I was going to start looking into finishing out the elementary ed degree. I clearly wasn’t getting in the PTA program. So I told Heavenly Father what I was going to do.  That afternoon my phone rings, a number I’m not familiar with, but had the notion I needed to answer, so I did.

     I spent the last two years in the Mount Hood Physical Therapist Assistant program. The program is demanding like many others. In the past two years I saw many tender mercies and blessings from Heavenly Father.